When I was first diagnosed, I had a breakdown. My breakdown was keeping quiet. Little did I know it kept on til present.
I couldn't communicate with others in the hospital. My mummy would be starting conversations with the surrounding patients. I would be quiet. Maybe, that I blame my genes.
I have this gene that doesn't like to cloud my mind with worries. If I start conversations, I would learn about the other person's reason for being in the hospital. How she/he got sick. It would continue to extend to knowing where that person stays, married or not, have children... it is just too much information. Some might even want to start to get to know me too.
Funny how I share everything online, but I refuse or relunctant to share with the people in the hospital.
Today's orthopedic appointment is full of elderly people... somewhere about 45 and above. Most with wheelchairs, stick, crutches, bandages or even limping to get to a seat.
Most eyes, when they see me walking, I can feel their stares. "What is wrong with this girl/lady?" All I could only smile if my eyes meet any of the stares.
The patients would patiently waiting by talking to another. Ice breaking.
If my mummy is with me right now, I would be listening to her talking to the other elderly.
I guess, I am not a people person... or I practise "Don't speak to strangers." (It is a pick and chose concept. Owh well.
It is 11am already. Nope. Not called yet. Tired. Sleepy. One of those days.
Sarah Kambali
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